Summer holiday has officially started. It’s weird but I feel left out in the commotion of it all.
We were suppose to have speech contest practice at 4 and I’ve been waiting around for the past hour…
Have a good summer kids.
warning rant post ahead So… I’ve been absent from the Tumblr world for a while. Why? Because I’ve been very depressed, angry, sad, and conflicted (the list can go on and on) about my job as an ALT for some time now.
Let me give you a glimpse into some of the thoughts that seems to play on repeat in my mind: *I’m sick of being a human tape recorder. I’m sick of the same lesson structures. No wonder everyone hates English! Who wants to do ‘repeat after me’ activity for 45 minutes! *I don’t want to go to work. I’m so unhappy at work. *Why don’t my JTEs understand or speak English!!! (2 of the 3 are like this)
Let me stop there because I can keep going on and on – that’s why I haven’t been posting. I don’t want to be that one angry JET that everyone hates. I’m trying to be positive and trying different approaches as I go, but I’m worn out both mentally and emotionally. I’m so worn out that on Monday afternoon I broke down and cried myself to sleep the moment I got home.
The funny thing is that I don’t hate my life here at all! In fact, I really like my life here in Japan and I like my town, too. I just don’t enjoy my job, specifically my role in junior high school. Yesterday, I just went to kindergarten and didn’t go to JHS and felt amazing!
Why am I writing this post? Because today I actually did a lesson at JHS and it felt good! It feels nice to be useful! It feels nice when you don’t spend your entire day doing nothing or just being a human tape recorder. It feels good to work.
I gotta hang in there, just three more weeks before I go back home for the summer. I’m going to take that time to think and figure out what my goals are and how to have better communication with my teacher for the next installment of my JET experience, because I don’t want to be miserable like I have been lately.
In the meantime, just breathe.
Rant post over